2014 BMW M6 Gran Coupe

Certainly with the new-for-2014 M6 Gran Coupe, the fourth of BMW’s similar M cars powered by the 552-hp S63 engine and based on 7-series underpinnings, you have grown tired of our carping about aloofness and artificiality, isolation, and whatever other synonyms for cold we can muster. So here’s a complaint specific to the M6 Gran Coupe: You likely will bang your head against the roof as you clamber out of the driver’s seat the first time. At least the headliner is a nice two-tone combination of faux suede and leather.

The M6’s roofline is, indeed, low; it gives the four-door “coupe” its streamlined water-beetle look. Like the two-door M6 coupe, the Gran Coupe has a carbon-fiber roof panel, which at 54.8 inches in height is 2.5 inches closer to the ground than the M5’s steel lid. Both four-doors share a 116.7-inch wheelbase, but at 197.2 inches, the M6 Gran Coupe stretches 3.7 inches longer. Nominally a five-seater, the middle passenger in back must straddle the console and suffer the climate-control vents blowing directly into his or her business. Cold, indeed.

Can You See Me Now?

Obviously, compared with the familiar conventionality of the M5 sedan, the appeal of the M6 Gran Coupe is in the looks department. As in, look at me, I’m better-looking. And it is, for now. Conventional wisdom says coupe designs have an abbreviated shelf life; we’re not sure whether genetically modified coupes have immunity.

As expected, test results for the M6 Gran Coupe were close to those of the M5. The twin-turbocharged, 4.4-liter V-8 blasts the M6 to 60 mph in 3.7 seconds, same as the last dual-clutch-equipped M5 we timed. (Although the seven-speed M DCT is standard, a six-speed manual is a no-cost option.) Ditto for the quarter-mile, where both Bimmers turned in identical 11.9-second elapsed times. On the skidpad, the M6 pulls 0.92 g; the last M5 we tested, 0.91.

Halting Remarks

Braking was a different story, with a plot that’s a bit thicker. The M6 took 168 feet to stop from 70 mph, eight feet longer than the M5. Both cars were wearing identical-width Michelin Pilot Super Sport tires on 20-inch wheels, but the M6 was equipped with optional carbon-ceramic brakes ($9250). The super-fade-resistant carbon-fiber discs didn’t help the M6 Gran Coupe stop any better, but they are significantly lighter (BMW says they weigh 43 fewer pounds than the iron rotors they replace) and reduce unsprung weight by a considerable amount. Lest you view this as an incentive to supersize your lunch order at the next track day, our M6 Gran Coupe weighed 4395 pounds, 118 pounds heavier than the M5.

But that’s not the last word on braking. A test of a similarly equipped M6 Gran Coupe in Europe produced 24-foot-shorter stopping distances—144 feet from 70 mph. That’s impressive. Skeptical of such a wide discrepancy, we retested the first car back in Michigan only to replicate our initial results. BMW assures us that both cars had the same brake pads and fluid, so our best theory is that the pads on our test car were glazed. 

The Goldberg Factor

We had difficulty activating BMW’s Rube Goldberg launch control, which requires switching off stability control, selecting the quickest of three manual shift modes, lightly applying the brake, and pushing the gearshift lever forward before mashing the throttle and releasing the lever. This can be simplified by programming one of two steering-wheel-mounted M buttons to cover the first two steps or made more complicated if you want to adjust the launch rpm by way of the cruise-control buttons. It will take you longer to perform this sequence than it takes the M6 to launch itself past 60 mph.

At highway speeds, the M6 Gran Coupe starts to come alive, and the steering and the suspension begin communicating what’s going on. Poking around town, the Gran Coupe isn’t much fun to drive, its silly limits mocking the driver at every, literal, turn. Want more engagement with your Gran Coupe? BMW will sell you a Competition package with 15 more horses for an extra $6000. That’s five percent more than the base $115,225 for only 2.7 percent more power, but you do get a 20-percent-stiffer suspension in the bargain. The net result is 100-percent overkill, unless you’re taking your M6 Gran Coupe to the track.

In which case, you will likely knock your helmet against the roof at least once.